I've got a real problem. My boyfriend Harry never shows me any respect.
He's always putting me down about something. I'm getting really tired  of it. Even last night,
while we were making love, he said to me:

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John and Joe were twins. John had a boat. Joe had a wife.
On the same day, John's boat sank and Joe's wife died.
An elderly woman ran into John downtown. She told him (thinking he was  Joe) how sorry she was
to hear of his loss. John replied,"Oh, don't be  sorry- I'm not. She was old and smelled like
fish.

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The gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get  into the men's

restroom, but it was always occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was taking short steps

and had a look of pain on his face.

"Sir", she said, "You may use the ladies' room if you promise not to touch  any of the buttons

on the wall." He would have promised anything and said so.

The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he

had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one

labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW.

Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling.

Men's restrooms don't have things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure,  he pushed the WA button.

Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the

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A zebra was visiting a neighboring farm.
"Hi," she said to the rooster. "What do you do here?" "I make sure everyone gets up on time
for a nice early start each day," he replied.
"How about you?" she turned and asked the cow.
"I supply the farmer and his family with fresh milk so they can make butter and cheese," the
cow replied.

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This guy has four daughters who all live at home. One Friday night the
doorbell rings. The guy answers it and a kid standing there says
"Hi, I'm Freddy.
I'm here to pick up Betty.
We're gonna go eat spaghetti.
Is she ready?"

The man, mildly amused calls down his daughter and the two leave.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and he answers. A kid standing
there says "Hi, I'm Jim.
I'm here to see Kim.
We're gonna go for a swim.
Can I come in?"

The guy, now perplexed, says "Yes." and the two take off.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings and again the father answers. A kid
standing there says "Hi, I'm Joe.
I'm here to pick up Flo.
We're gonna go to the show.
Can she go?"

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